September 29th 2023 : If you're a regular to the website, I'm sure you've noticed a lot of the changes on the site, though I haven't updated my blog in a while. Job is still working me hard TT_TT but I'm doing my best. I'm actually doing pretty well numbers-wise, and while I'm struggling mentally I've been doing my best to adapt and relax. I'm hoping to do more drawing and post more stuff soon.

September 16th 2023 : LSD Dream Emulator has been on my mind lately. I don't know what it is, but I'm drawn to it. Maybe it's how it constantly changes, or maybe how everything doesn't really make sense together. Also, the music by Osamu Sato is really good. Actually, I kind of want to talk about a dream I had the other night. Usually, my dreams are random bullshit with no sort of larger meaning to it, essentially just brain mush. However, the other night, I had a really weird dream that seemed like it kinda tapped into my subconcious. Or maybe just my regular concious. There was a continuous theme of running away from things... Typically, it was like some sort of societal system, tangible or not. One of them was running away from a company taking over everything, leaving no one left except the super rich people. I don't know what they did with everyone else, but I was scared to be caught. In another part, I had a family (not like my real family, but in the dream it was random people as my "family") and I wanted to run away from home to escape the expectations of being a girl/woman for the family. I put on a blue cloak, with a shorter green one on top, and I started to fly/hop across a forest to escape. In each scenario, I was looking for a place I could call home, but every place was lonely and I couldn't stay there for long. When I woke up, I didn't feel very rested at all. Maybe it's a little on the nose for a dream, but I guess I must be holding myself to some sort of expectation I don't really want. There's nothing wrong with having goals and standards for yourself, but it's no good if they don't serve you in the way you'd like.

September 15th 2023 : Good god, I got back from work so late and I'm exhausted. I don't even think I have the energy to shower, or even do anything else really. I'll probably just look over my finances, make sure everything looks groovy, then probably mess around on my phone. I bought one of those Pokemon Go Plus+ ("Plus Plus"? Who names these things?) and it's really neat to see it do its thing with Pokemon Go, and I'll try Pokemon Sleep tonight. Besides that however (and maybe one new book), I'm going on my no-buy period. I can still buy food, and I can buy gifts and meals for others, but I can't do it on my own or for myself.

September 14th 2023 : I feel like a broken record saying this, but I really wish I had a lot more time and energy. It seems like even on my days off, I can't manage to get everything I want to or need to done. Actually, I feel like I've felt this way for some time. I wonder what it means in the bigger picture at least. It's nice to get my thoughts out, but there's only so much I can write about compared to the work I need to get done. Every day has been pretty busy for me. I wonder when I'll be bored again... is it strange to look forward to that?

September 13th 2023 : I bought a new phone recently, and it cost a lot of money.... well, sort of. It's a bit complicated, but I was able to make it work, not to mention having this new phone to draw with is really worth it. But since I spent so much, I think I need to start saving up, so I'm gonna cut down on buying random things.

September 9th 2023 : Happy Cirno day! I wish I had something special planned, but this kinda snuck up on me. Anyways, I find I really like organizing info. ... That's all I had to say for today, actually. Oh, I'm doing better today as well.

September 7th 2023 : I wish I could just draw forever and ever and ever. I wish it was my job, 'cause I feel a lot happier when I'm creating things.

September 5th 2023 : Coping with change is a strange thing. Things keep changing, and I'll have the memory of good times, but it's weird to think I'll never be able to go back. I was listening to the Elsword OST today, and I thought "How nostalgic," but I know that if I play it now I'll never be able to have fun with it again like I did before. It's just changed so much, and so has my playstyle... It's kind of like I know too much about the meta and how the game works that I won't be able to truly enjoy it in the moment again. ._. I guess that was kinda a strange thing to have such a deep thought over, but it rings true with me.

September 2nd 2023 : I'm off of work today, so I think I'll work on my website a bit. I want to make a "graffiti" page to hold all of my sketches. Also, I'm going to buy books, yay! I should also update the scrapbook page, actually.
Edit: So it's later in the day, and I tried starting a sort of "second brain" template I hear a lot about for Notion, but it's hard to think of what I actually need and want to use. Well, more so that I know I should use it, but I'm not sure what kind of ideas I need to write down. I guess I just need to start writing then organize from there? I bought the book too, so hopefully I'll understand a bit better later on.

August 31st 2023 : I think one thing I want to make for the website and host for people to use is some wallpapers. I think that would be nice.

August 30th 2023 : I need to remember to patch to the latest version of Pokemon Crystal Clear. And with Goomba and SGB mode on (if having both is possible). My game keeps freezing when I try to change Pokemon, among other glitches, so I oughta make sure everything is okay with that (though, I might have to restart. oh well)

August 29th 2023 : I'm doing well to rest today, but I slept in until 11. I'm not exactly proud of that, and the worst part is I'm still sleepy... I'll go to bed earlier tonight. I've already cleaned my bed, so I'm thinking of organizing my room and also transfering some music over to my phone.

August 28th 2023 : Today wasn't that bad. I mean, it wasn't the best, but it hasn't been the worst either. Despite that, I just feel kinda down. I guess I just need to sleep more, but all I like to do is clean and make art... but sleeping is good too, honestly. I slept in quite a bit this morning. I actually didn't do the things I meant to because of it. Actually, I guess I skipped a lot of things by accident... Thinking about it now, I'm actually really sleepy and tired. This is kinda what my life seems like now
That reminds me, I ought to set up my old computer as a server soon.

August 27th 2023 : I have work tomorrow. I got a job recently, and I think I'm doing alright at it, but it's hard to adjust. I want to clean and reorganize my room today if possible. I wish there were more hours in a day, or maybe just have more off days...
Somedays, I wonder if I have too much stuff. I feel like I want to be a minimalist, but I feel like also I have to keep everything lest I regret it. ~_~ ;;